Love Jewelery

Many tourists travel to Lanzarote for nothing more than a sunny beach and a pitcher of sangria with a cliff-top view. But the Spanish Canary Island is also a Unesco biosphere site: an arid stretch of lava fields, salt marshes and coastal mountains where high-rises are taboo. And for decades, the island's elegant-and-ecological style of tourism defied the construction craze of its wilder island neighbours, like Gran Canaria.

At least so it seemed. Because now Unesco has threatened to strip the island of its prized biosphere status because of a rash of illegal building along the coast.

The Canary Island Supreme Court has declared that 24 hotels have been illegally built in coastal resorts such as Playa Blanca, so popular with British tourists that it's easier to order a "typical English breakfast" than the local potato dish, papas arrugas. According to a report in the Financial Times, the court retroactively rescinded building permits, but the hotels still stand.

Eight of the hotels are landmark luxury properties like the Princesa Yaiza, which boasts a restaurant complex, spa and amusement park overlooking a crescent of golden sand. The hotels qualified for a total of €23.6m (£19.7m) in EU grants, partly thanks to the biosphere status. The EU anti-corruption office has demanded the money be returned. The Princesa Yaiza says it holds valid operating permits, and that it is the victim of a local political row.

"We are in touch with the Spanish authorities about the situation," Meriem Bouamrane of Unesco told the FT. "If the developments are not respecting local needs and are impacting on the environment, the title can be revoked."

Since May 2009, police have arrested at least 24 politicians and businessmen, including the former president of the Lanzarote provincial government and the former mayor of Arrecife, another popular resort destination, in connection with illegal building permits.

Such police swoops have become commonplace in other once-booming Spanish coastal resorts – in Marbella, for instance, the entire city council had to be dissolved – but Lanzarote was thought to be different.

"Lanzarote had a very good application," Unesco's Ms Bouamrane said. "Mass tourism was not something they were developing. They promoted sustainable tourism that was more respectful to the environment."

Of the 564 biosphere sites around the world, Lanzarote is the only entire island to win the prestigious classification. The Unesco website touts the island's ecological charms, including a profusion of unpronounceable species like "arthrocnemum fruticosum", and it praises the way "priority was given to blend tourist infrastructure with the beautiful but inhospitable environment".

Thanks to a pioneering land-use plan, nearly half the island has been declared a nature reserve, the volcanic Timanfaya National Park, which is largely pristine except for a dizzying tour-bus route, camel rides and a sole restaurant where steaks are grilled over the lava-heated barbecue pit.

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I recently staged a mildly satisfying act of personal revolt.

My contract with Orange having lapsed, it proposed to upgrade my mobile, gratis, to either a BlackBerry or an iPhone. The choice was a no-brainer. The BlackBerry is far less pricey and about a squillion times less adaptable than the iPhone. Its cramped keypad, forcing one's thumbs to tiptoe across its tiny, buttony keys (to start with, at least, one feels rather like a blind man confronted with Braille), proves absolutely no match for the iPhone's sleek touch-sensitive screen over which all one has to do is wave one's index finger like a conjuror's wand. Added to which, I had been an Apple Mac enthusiast for virtually a quarter of a century, ever since I swapped my very first computer, an Amstrad, for what I thought of as the Amstradivarius of the sexy little Mac SE30, and had repeatedly lauded its original interface, to any-one prepared to listen to me, as one of the great designs of the 20th century.

Yet in the end I chose the BlackBerry.
Why so? One motivation, I cannot tell a lie, was sheer contrariness. When, back in the Eighties, I bought the exorbitantly expensive SE30, my acquaintances regarded it as a reckless, even foolhardy, purchase to have made. Pure and pristine its interface might be, I had paid more for less. I would have endless compatibility issues with PCs – which, in truth, I did have in the early years, but the problem was, after all, one shared by my correspondents. Few email servers were equipped to handle Apple products – also true, but I found one that was, and have been its customer ever since. And games manufacturers, I was warned, barely bothered targeting Mac users, a fact about which, as a writer, someone for whom a computer was primarily a professional tool (hard now to recall that it was once also quaintly called a word processor), I couldn't have cared less.

On the contrary, I positively relished the ostracism. To me it felt as though I'd been inducted into a Masonry, a secret society, an occult fraternity of embattled, like-minded initiates.

Well, that cryptic complicity, that period when Apple was kept alive, and then only by the skin of its teeth, because the Microsoft monolith needed competition, however feeble, to deflect charges of monopoly, has long since gone. And although I'm neither a crank nor a churl, I can't believe I'm alone in regretting its passing. There exist few states of mind as gratifying as knowing something that scarcely anyone else knows.

Opting for a BlackBerry, though, wasn't just a matter of resentment at no longer being able to feel smugly out of step with the benighted majority. It wasn't just that I had become increasingly irritated by the reverence and hype which now accompany all new Apple products, or new versions of old products. Not just that I flinch from photographs of Steve Jobs, like Moses bearing aloft his iTablet of Commandments, brandishing some supposedly groundbreaking new doodad. (And not even Moses had to be reminded by God that, if His message was to be satisfactorily communicated, the tablet would have to be grasped in one and only one specific way.) Not just that my teeth are regularly set on edge by similar coverage of Mac groupies salivating over their iPods or iPads. In short, if I rejected the iPhone, it wasn't just because of my suspicion that the whole Apple phenomenon was a gigantic iCon trick.

In reality, I had over the years grown more and more disillusioned with what had once been the company's core product, its computers. Apple, like nature, abhors a vacuum; and, in thrall to the fundamental imperative of the capitalistic system that even perfection be shown to be capable of improvement (otherwise, how will potential customers be inveigled into upgrading something which still, dammit, works?), it gradually transformed its interface, that flawless wedding of function, form and aesthetic felicity, into a fidgety hybrid of words and images. It was, moreover, the images, the cutesy marginalia on which most of its designers' ingenuity had been expended, that definitively gained the upper hand.

Now, it's true, I'm a writer – and I acknowledge that a writer's needs will inevitably strike the non-writer as irrelevantly specialised. I belong to another epoch. I don't play video games. I don't download music. I don't have a Facebook account. I am not a member of the twitterati or tweetering classes (though I might be tempted to subscribe if there arose a chance of reading the tweeted minute-by-minute impressions of an American convict as he's strapped into the electric chair). I also have a loathing of the insidious Tesco-isation of literature represented by Kindles and iBooks. And just as I never took the slightest interest in the opinions of Joe Bloggs, the man on the Clapham omnibus, so today I can live perfectly happily without those of Joe Blogs, the man on the Clapham website.

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Affordable art for the home used to mean an Athena poster. Famously, there was the image of a handsome male model holding a baby, while teenage boys lusted after the tennis girl, photographed resting a hand on her bare bottom. It was fun and it was cheesy. Millions of us pinned these posters to our bedroom walls.

Athena folded 15 years ago – so where to go now for cheap art to hang above the mantelpiece? One, perhaps unlikely, destination is Ikea. Popular art is more sophisticated these days. There's no cheeky nudity or muscle-bound hunks in their latest series of prints. Rather, they come from original artworks made by five contemporary artists. It's the first time that the Swedish chain-store has worked directly with the artists themselves, having previously done deals through commercial intermediaries.

Ikea's ethos lies in its Scandinavian roots; it has been compared to the Bauhaus movement in Germany thanks to its guiding principles combining style with reduced cost. All five of Ikea's artists are Swedish and are well-known in their home country. Their work has been shown at museums and galleries in Sweden, at Frieze Art Fair in London and at New York's Armoury Show. The prints are a step up from Athena posters – and they're cheap too, starting at £29, including the frame.
"All five artists are very different, which is what we wanted. We asked them to make suggestions and the results were fantastic," says Asa Wibrand, who heads Ikea's product range in Sweden. "We have framed them all differently and they are all in different styles, so there should be something for everyone. Usually our art range is easy to like, but this is the kind of art that you don't usually see in a home furniture shop."

Certainly, the themes and ideas in Ikea's prints are more complex than simply a pin-up poster girl. Living in My Room by Helene Billgren is a drawing of a woman wearing jodhpurs. There's emotional depth to the scene. The woman has her eyes closed, her eyelashes fluttering away. In the distance there's a tiny interior, with a table and chair and an exotic bird in a cage. Surreally, a horse's head leans over a stable door inside the room, weeping. Two horse shoes hang over the stable to symbolise good luck.

"It's about relationships," says Billgren. "Happiness and sadness. She's closing her eyes because she's thinking about what she wants. I usually draw girls or women, in domestic settings or in nature."

It's a pleasing image to look at, if slightly sentimental, and the domestic theme links it well to Ikea. It's simple and feminine and should have broad popular appeal. Six hundred prints will go on sale in Ikea stores around the world.

"It's nice to think that my work will be seen in China," says Billgren. "I thought it was an exciting idea. I didn't feel snobby about it. I was glad, although I wouldn't want all of my work to become Ikea prints. But as a one-off, it is very nice."

Ikea hasn't shied away from darker themes in their artwork. Roger Andersson's print explores fairy tales, more Brothers Grimm than Disney. Rascals is a print of an ominous giant thistle, or ragwort. The plant dwarfs silhouettes of three ragamuffin children, who dangle from it with sticks and poke at its roots; a sense of foreboding hangs in the air. The monochrome print has the look of work by Kara Walker, an American artist who explores race, gender, sexuality and violence within American culture, albeit without that artist's complexity.

Jens Fänge carries weight in the Scandinavian art world. His work is shown in Norway and Finland, as well as London, New York and Beijing. Influenced by Surrealism, his print, titled Mannequin, shows a figure that recurs regularly in his paintings – a man who appears to be half-puppet, half-human, not unlike Pinocchio. He's a sad-looking figure, hunched over in despair, or exhaustion. His arm hangs down limply and a shoe lies discarded, to the side. It's a little eerie and depressing, although still not likely to give children nightmares were it to be hung on their bedroom wall.

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The RSPCA is one of Britain’s biggest charities. In 2009 it had an income of nearly £120m, of which over five-sixths came in donations. Its work is highly visible, and it gives the impression of having a moral authority which is beyond question. I wonder, how-ever, whether the general public really understands its nature and powers.

Recently, a woman from Coventry, Mary Bale, was recorded on camera behaving rather cruelly to a neighbour’s cat. Evidently under the impression that she was unobserved, she picked the cat up by the scruff of the neck and dropped it in a wheely bin. The cat wasn’t discovered for 15 hours or so, but has since recovered from its ordeal. The neighbours who filmed Miss Bale put the film on YouTube, where it quickly generated a quite extraordinary amount of outrage and hatred. As I write, Miss Bale’s job at a Scottish bank is under threat.

Enter the RSPCA. It was reported that Miss Bale has been “interviewed” by the animal charity, and that they are deciding whether or not to prosecute her. Reading this, you will probably assume that the RSPCA is acting in accordance with its powers. But, in fact, the RSPCA only has the power to bring a private prosecution against somebody who it believes has mistreated an animal. Any private individual could do exactly the same. It has no power to enter anyone’s property uninvited, nor to interview anyone. All it can do is to remove the animal, and to alert the police.

There is plenty of evidence to suggest that the RSPCA’s modes of behaviour are generally interpreted as those of a branch of the police. Unlike other charities, their workers wear police-like uniforms with insignia and badges. It has been reported that RSPCA workers issue a verbal warning very similar to that made by arresting police officers – “You do not have to say anything, but it may harm your defence...”

No doubt Miss Bale’s behaviour, recorded on the internet, was rather cruel to the poor cat. If she committed a crime, there was some clear video evidence. All the neighbours had to do was to send the evidence to the police, who would decide whether or not there was a case of cruelty to an animal to answer. What on earth was the role of the RSPCA in all of this, and why was it getting involved to the extent of “interviewing” Miss Bale? It wasn’t as if the cat was going to be taken away from a neglectful or brutal owner.

In fact, the RSPCA has about as many powers to interview and enter private premises as any other charity. If the directors of what used to be the Distressed Gentlefolks’ Association took to putting on uniforms and demanding to interview us to discover if we had distressed a gentleman in the street, we would not care for it. If Miss Bale committed a crime against a cat, let the police prosecute her. I dare say they have more of a sense of perspective than this immensely wealthy pressure group, too.

Of course the BBC should be paying Dame Julie

Dame Julie Andrews is 75 in October. The BBC, having noticed the important birthday of this wonderful woman, decided to mark the occasion with a television tribute. There is no shortage of material from Dame Julie’s long and glorious career, going back to an appearance at the 1948 Royal Variety Performance and her celebrated creation of Eliza Doolittle in My Fair Lady. However, the BBC wanted Dame Julie to appear herself in their celebration. “Well,” said Dame Julie’s representatives, we are to presume, in so many words. “What would her fee be?”

The BBC shuffled its feet, and let it be known that “We all assumed, perhaps naively, that she would be honoured to take part for free.” It appears that, faced with the possibility that Dame Julie might expect to be paid for appearing on British television, the BBC decided that it could not spare any money from the vast sums it was committed to shovelling into the bank accounts of Mr Graham Norton and an army of management consultants.

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(All times local, -5 hours from BST)
Arthur Ashe Stadium

11am: Melanie Oudin (USA) v Olga Savchuk (Ukr), Greta Arn (Hun) v (2) Kim Clijsters (Bel), Stéphane Robert (Fra) v (9) Andy Roddick (USA), Roberta Vinci (Ita) v (3) Venus Williams (USA), Brian Dabul (Arg) v (2) Roger Federer (Swi)
Louis Armstrong Stadium

11am: (6) Nikolay Davydenko (Rus) v Michael Russell (USA), (24) Daniela Hantuchova (Svk) v Dinara Safina (Rus), (5) Samantha Stosur (Aus) v Elena Vesnina (Rus), (32) Lleyton Hewitt (Aus) v Paul-Henri Mathieu (Fra)
Grandstand

11am: (6) Francesca Schiavone (Ita) v Ayumi Morita (Jpn), (5) Robin Soderling (Swe) v Andreas Haider-Maurer (Aut), Taylor Dent (USA) v Alejandro Falla (Col), Ana Ivanovic (Ser) v Ekaterina Makarova (Rus)
Court 4

1pm: Martin Klizan (Svk) v (22) Juan Carlos Ferrero (Spa), (16) Shahar Peer (Isr) v Jelena Kostanic Tosic (Cro), Ricardas Berankis (Ltu) v Ryan Sweeting (USA), Timea Bacsinszky (Swi) v (21) Zheng Jie (Chn)
Court 6

11am: Johanna Larsson (Swe) v (28) Alisa Kleybanova (Rus), (20) Anastasia Pavlyuchenkova (Rus) v Kristina Barrois (Ger), (13) Jürgen Melzer (Aut) v Dmitry Tursunov (Rus), Michael Berrer (Ger) v Andreas Beck (Ger)
Court 7

11am: Illya Marchenko (Ukr) v (11) Marin Cilic (Cro), Michelle Larcher De Brito (Por) v Sania Mirza (Ind), (32) Tsvetana Pironkova (Bul) v Renata Voracova (Cze), Kevin Anderson (Rsa) v Somdev Devvarman (Ind)
Court 8

11am: Vera Dushevina (Rus) v (29) Alona Bondarenko (Ukr), Igor Andreev (Rus) v Horacio Zeballos (Arg), Virginie Razzano (Fra) v Klara Zakopalova (Cze), Rebecca Marino (Can) v Ksenia Pervak (Rus)
Court 10

11am: Simon Greul (Ger) v Richard Gasquet (Fra), (27) Petra Kvitova (Cze) v Lucie Hradecka (Cze), (21) Albert Montañés (Spa) v Michal Przysiezny (Pol)
Court 11

11am: Olga Govortsova (Blr) v (12) Elena Dementieva (Rus), (17) Gaël Monfils (Fra) v Robert Kendrick (USA), Monica Niculescu (Rom) v (10) Victoria Azarenka (Blr), Tim Smyczek (USA) v (26) Thomaz Bellucci (Bra), Irina Falconi (USA) v (19) Flavia Pennetta (Ita)
Court 12

11am: Thiemo de Bakker (Ned) v Marc Gicquel (Fra), Sally Peers (Aus) v Aleksandra Wozniak (Can), Agnes Szavay (Hun) v Sandra Zahlavova (Cze)
Court 13

11am: Kei Nishikori (Jpn) v Evgeny Korolev (Kaz), Ivan Dodig (Cro) v (27) Fernando González (Chi), (13) Marion Bartoli (Fra) v Edina Gallovits (Rom), Vania King (USA) v Christina Mchale (USA)
Court 14

11am: Björn Phau (Ger) v Ricardo Mello (Bra), Zuzana Ondraskova (Cze) v Sybille Bammer (Aut), Pauline Parmentier (Fra) v Alberta Brianti (Ita)
Court 15

11am: Sara Errani (Ita) v Tathiana Garbin (Ita), Bojana Jovanovski (Ser) v Anastasia Rodionova (Rus), Janko Tipsarevic (Ser) v Olivier Rochus (Bel)
Court 16

11am: Maria Elena Camerin (Ita) v Sophie Ferguson (Aus), Gisela Dulko (Arg) v Angelique Kerber (Ger), Leonardo Mayer (Arg) v Guillaume Rufin (Fra)
Court 17

11am: Elena Baltacha (GB) v Petra Martic (Cro), Polona Hercog (Slo) v Mandy Minella (Lux), Carsten Ball (Aus) v Milos Raonic (Can)

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A transparent sea cucumber, found at 2,750 meters in the Northern Gulf of Mexico. The Census of Marine Life estimates 230,000 species of animals in the world's oceans. Photograph: Larry Madin/Wood Hole Oceanographic Institution/Census of Marine Life

It has been the biggest and most comprehensive attempt ever to answer that age-old question – how many fish are there in the sea?

Published today, a 10-year study of the diversity, distribution and abundance of life in the world's oceans attempts just that. The Census of Marine Life, which hopes to paint a baseline of marine life, estimates there are more than 230,000 species in our oceans.

"From coast to the open ocean, from the shallows to the deep, from little things like microbes to large things such as fish and whales," said Patricia Miloslavich of Universidad Simón Bolívar, Venezuela and co-senior scientist of the COML. The study also covers crabs, plankton, birds, sponges, worms, squids, sharks and slugs.

A team of more than 360 scientists around the world have spent the past decade surveying 25 regions, from the Antarctic through the temperate and tropical seas to the Arctic to count the different types of plants and animals.

The results show that around a fifth of the world's marine species are crustaceans such as crabs, lobsters, krill and barnacles. Add in molluscs (squid and octopus) and fish (including sharks) and that accounts for up to half of the number of species in the world's seas. The charismatic species often used in conservation campaigning – whales, sea lions, turtles and sea birds – account for less than 2% of the species in the world's oceans.

The surveys have also highlighted major areas of concern for conservationists. "In every region, they've got the same story of a major collapse of what were usually very abundant fish stocks or crabs or crustaceans that are now only 5-10% of what they used to be," said Mark Costello of the Leigh Marine Laboratory, University of Auckland in New Zealand. "These are largely due to over-harvesting and poor management of those fisheries. That's probably the biggest and most consistent threat to marine biodiversity around the world."

The main threats to date include overfishing, degraded habitats, pollution and the arrival of invasive species. But more problems are around the corner: rising water temperatures and acidification thanks to climate change and the growth in areas of the ocean that are low in oxygen and, therefore, unable to support life.

The COML identified enclosed seas such as the Mediterranean, Gulf of Mexico, China's shelves, Baltic, and the Caribbean as having the most threatened biodiversity. "Enclosed seas have the risk that, when you impact it and throw chemicals or other garbage into it, it will not go away so easily as it will from the open ocean," said Miloslavich.

Dense coastal populations of humans also tend to be packed along enclosed seas, meaning increased pollution and extraction of more biodiversity from the water.

The Mediterranean, which contains almost 17,000 identified species, scored the maximum threat rating of five for four of the categories. Scientists studying the Mediterranean identified problems related to increased litter from shipping and munitions across the sea as well as bombs discharged during the Kosovo war.

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Something extraordinary happened yesterday. At 11am, against a background of pubs closing all over England (the CAMRA estimate is now 40 a week) – closing as implacably as the lights the Foreign Secretary Sir Edward Grey saw going out all over Europe in 1914 – the Old Red Lion was back in business in the Northamptonshire village of Litchborough. After two years, the blank steel shutters have been taken down from the windows: a pub has opened in England. And it's a little moment of social history.

For this is something none of us ever thought we would see, given that what is happening elsewhere has been relentless, and at its most cruel in villages. The school goes, that is usually the first absence; then the shop closes, and, with it, the post office; the bus service thins to a dawn trickle, and the church becomes part of a wistful little empire of four, five or six churches on which a vicar calls like a flying doctor. Finally the pub shuts. By then the process is well advanced, but with that it is complete. A community that may be 1,000 years old stops being a community, for it has no meeting place. A village has become a place where a man grows old among strangers.

As an old postmaster told me: "I see them drive out in the morning, and I see them come home at night. But what they do, and where they go to, I haven't a clue." The public perception is that all this is down to the closure of the pubs. You will have heard or read that half the villages of England are now without pubs for the first time since the Norman Conquest or Domesday, although nobody, not even CAMRA, knows who came up with this fact.

But the pub may have closed in your village, in the villages you drive through, and it has certainly happened in mine: for 10 years I was a regular at the Old Red Lion. The pub closed in 2008 due to the ill health of its tenant, the late Tom O'Shea.

It was then part of a brewery chain, which advertised it as a tenancy, until, when this failed, they put it on the market for a staggering £600,000, which would be its value as a private development. But in a village without any other social amenity, planning permission was refused. This is what usually happens. The result is a stand-off between the planners and the brewery until one or the other blinks, or the building becomes dangerous. But occasionally there are little lights in the darkness. At the Old Crown at Hesket Newmarket in Cumbria, 100 people got together and set up the first pub co-operative with its own brewery. At the Dabbling Duck in Norfolk the council itself bought the pub, then sold it on at a small profit.

In Litchborough something even more remarkable happened. As the months passed, and there was no sign of the Old Red Lion reopening, a despairing local housewife, Sarah Hobbs, opened a sort of pub-in-exile. Watched by worried check-out girls, she bought up every wine bottle on offer at Tesco, and, with beer from a one-man brewery that had been set up in the village's small industrial estate, got herself a licence and once a month opened up the village hall. The cost, after some debate with a bemused committee whose only dealings in the past had been with the WI, was £20, electricity £6 extra. There, like White Russian refugees in 1920s Paris, the regulars of the Old Red Lion met again. To the best of my knowledge, that has happened nowhere else. But now all that comes to an end – dissolved, just as young army officers might have promised to dissolve their junta after a coup.

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For a lot of people, the prospect of a trip to Ikea is much more terrifying than anything dreamt up by Henning Mankel. The search for a car park space. The seemingly endless trudge through vast grottos full of kitchenware, linen, toys, lighting and every other domestic essential. The towering racks of flat-pack furniture. The queue to pay. The overpowering sense of being trapped in a blue-and-yellow fantasy world. The Swedish superstore has a way of messing with the equilibrium like no other retail outlet.

But calm down for a moment. Be patient, hang on in there, and just beyond the check-out, you'll be granted your reward. This is where Ikea sells its range of Swedish food – cartons of prinsesstårta (a creamy layer cake), freezers full of köttbullar (meatballs), jars of roll mops in dill sauce ... suddenly your trip is looking up.

Swedish food like this, with its vitamin-rich sauces, fish full of omega-three fatty acids, and locally-sourced ingredients, is considered as good for your heart as it is for your carbon footprint. With Swedish restaurants like Madsen in South Kensington and and Garbo in Marylebone proving trendy if not entirely aimed at the consumer on a budget, Ikea's food could give Britons a cost-price opportunity to sample a model culinary landscape. It certainly seems to be a success – Ikea has food halls in all its 18 British locations and its restaurants shift 13 million meals a year.

So who buys this stuff? On the sunny weekend I venture to Ikea's Wembley food hall, there are just two people looking through the stacks. Iris Hall, 58, is captivated by the promise of renkött – reindeer – but walks away empty-handed. Ed Clarke, 36, stuffs a couple of packs of Kakor Havreflarn, or oat crisps, into his shoulder bag. To be fair, I am there at 11am and the store has just opened. But could it be that the British public are not convinced by the merits of a well-stocked smörgåsbord?

Ikea's spokespeople wouldn't be drawn on who their typical food customer might be, but it looks like it serves a mainly expat market. I make a quick call to Bronte Blomhoj, a Dane living in London and founder of the Scandinavian Kitchen – a restaurant, delicatessen and café specialising in northern European food. She was one of the first Scandinavian ex-pats to shop in Ikea for food when it came to the UK in 1987. "Ikea does have a place in promoting Scandinavian and Swedish food in Britain," she says. "OK, it's on the cheaper side, but in terms of getting people familiar with what a Swedish meatball is – and serving those who already know – it's very good."

So does the store's food stand up as well as its bunk beds? Initially, I am unconvinced, but taking advantage of my venture to north-west London, I fill my fridge with garishly designed packets. I send out my invites for a planned evening at which I resolve to play no more than three Abba tracks – and to serve solely food sourced from the famous Swedish furniture chain.

Storage, thankfully, isn't an issue. Cold winters in Sweden have meant people have had to rely on lots of pickling, freezing and smoking, especially of fish, and as such I'm mainly dealing with tins. The flipside is that Ikea's food is somewhat lacking on the fresh-ingredient front. Southern Sweden's sunnier months see asparagus, strawberries, herbs, beetroot, and crayfish grace the nations' tables – none of which numbers among the collection of well-known Swedish brands now in my possession. The day of the dinner party I am still reading up on my proposed menu when the doorbell rings to herald the arrival of my first guest. I sit them down at the table with a glass of cheap chilled white and dash into the kitchen.

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To add a twist to this classic recipe try stuffing the flowers with ricotta cheese. Photograph: Jonathan Lovekin for the Observer

To make the batter, sift 100g of plain flour into a large basin then add 2 tbsp of sunflower oil and 175ml sparkling water, beating slowly to a thick paste. Just before you fry the courgette flowers, beat an egg white till almost stiff then fold gently into the batter. Warm plenty of groundnut oil in a deep pan. Wipe 8 large courgette flowers tenderly to remove any aphids or dust. Pull out the stamens but leave the stems attached.

Test the oil to make sure it is hot enough – it should send a cube of bread golden in a few seconds – then dip the courgette flowers into the batter and then lower a few at a time into the hot oil. Fry for 3 or 4 minutes till the batter is pale gold and crisp, turning them occasionally as they fry. Drain on kitchen paper. Eat the fritters while hot and crisp, scattered with coarse sea salt. You will need 2 or 3 each.

You need the large male flowers. Speed, rather than technique, is the crux of the matter. Pick your flowers early in the day, when they are freshest. Brush away any insects. Only immerse in cold water if absolutely necessary. Set the batter aside for 30 minutes.

Courgette flowers are even more interesting when stuffed. Ricotta cheese is a favourite; anchovies are a popular seasoning for ricotta, as is garlic or chopped olives. Breadcrumbs are often a substitute for cheese, or try using chopped spinach or beet instead. My favourite involves stuffing the flowers with goat's curd, grated lemon zest and basil.

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Andy Murray insists he is ready for the US Open despite struggling in the heat as he lost to Mardy Fish in the quarter-final of the Cincinnati Masters.

The Scot was visibly suffering in the second set as temperatures reached 34 degrees, and also received treatment on an apparent knee problem, as Fish came through an energy-sapping contest 6-7 6-1 7-6 in two hours, 56 minutes.

The world No 4 looked out on his feet at times between points in the third set but did not hold back during them before finally bowing out of the tournament.

"I have put in a lot of work off the court," said Murray, who won the ATP Rogers Cup in Toronto before heading to Cincinnati. "I've worked as hard as I can to get in good shape. I just tried to fight as much as I could, and nearly won. I've had more than enough matches before the US Open."

The final Grand Slam of the year gets under way in New York on 30 August. Murray saved two set points in the tie-break before clinching the first set but looked a different player in the second as injury and the heat of the day appeared to take their toll.

The American raced into a 4-0 lead, Murray feeling his knee in the second game and then complaining of dizziness at the change of ends after the third game. The 23-year-old got on the board in the set to make it 4-1, an ice pack being applied to his leg after the game but Fish rattled through the next two games to level the match.

Murray, though, was in no mood to throw in the towel in the deciding set, saving two break points to prevent Fish taking a 2-0 lead. He then forced a host of deuces on the Fish serve before the American managed to move 3-2 in front, with no breaks taking the decider into another tie-break.

Murray moved 4-2 ahead but a successful challenge gave Fish the advantage at 5-4 and the 28-year-old from Minnesota closed out the match.

Meanwhile, the world No 1 Serena Williams will miss this year's US Open after failing to recover from a foot injury. Williams, 28, has already missed three tournaments since cutting her right foot on broken glass in Munich in July. "It is with much frustration and deep sadness that I am having to pull out of the US Open. My doctors have advised against my playing," the Wimbledon champion said.

drive from www.independent.co.uk